POKER
by Eris-92
Summary: A clear example of how I suck at parodies...Never mind, R&R! What would happen if the Order and the Noahs decide to put an end to the war betting everything on a single match between the Earl and Allen?


**A clear example of how I suck at parodies… ^^ Never mind, R&R!**

**What would happen if the Noahs and the Black Order decide to put an end to the war betting everything on a single fight between the Earl and Allen? And what if the weapon chosen by Allen is… a**** deck of cards???**

**Disclaimer: I don't own DMG. If I did, no-one would have ever read it for it would have come out ****a crappy mess as this story is ^^''**

" Go, Allen, go!" Lavi's voice echoed at the teen's back,

" You're our only hope!" Lenalee added.

Poor Allen Walker sighed in resignation: why the hell had to be him the one to take all the responsibilities? And, besides that, why had to be him the one chosen to fight against the Millennium Count?

He sighed again, deeper, as he was advancing towards his designed enemy. It was a folly, but so it was: the Black Order, along with the Noahs, had decided that there was need to put a quick end to their war for the domination of Earth and what had they done? It was embarrassing to actually say it, but they had accepted Jasdebi suggestion.

" _I mean, __**Jasdebi's**__ suggestion!?! __Jasdebi's?__?? What has the world turned into?" _Allen thought desperately.

The twins had actually proposed to bet everything on a single fight between an exorcist and a Noah: the winner's side would have been free to dominate the Earth as it pleased without any interference from the other's part.

Honestly, Allen couldn't say that it was so bad a suggestion, though it came from the insane/emo twins, but why, why the Hell had he to be chosen as the representative of the Black Order? Couldn't they choose someone as imperturbable as Kanda or someone strong as one of the Generals?

Of course, he had voiced his complaints, but as a response he had been kicked towards the battlefield by Cross, and, as if it wasn't enough, Sokaro had threatened him saying that he would have killed the white-haired boy himself if he dared to loose. One would think that after three years of training under Cross' "protection" Allen couldn't be frightened by anything, but General Sokaro actually scared Allen more than his master's debts… I know that it's a bit rude to say so, but have you seen his real face? It should be a show reserved to people who have come of age!

" Kick the shit out of the fataaaaaass!!!" Allen heard a familiar voice yell at him. Obviously Cross wasn't going to loose the show of Allen being turned into pieces by the Earl, for the young exorcist was sure to die in that fight. I mean, he had to beat the Millennium Count! Impossible.

He advanced, or better, he was pushed towards his enemy and left in front of him.

Allen looked up at the Earl and noticed, a bit depressed, that the Count was far fatter and taller than him. He would have died before saying this to Kanda, but he actually thought that compared to the Noah he really seemed a… bean sprout…

Depression overwhelmed Allen at the thought of how unfair life had been to him for having made him an exorcist and, more than this, short, but the words the Earl was going to pronounce raised his spirit to the stars. Life is strange, isn't it?

" You have the right to choose the weapon, exorcist. So, what do you choose? 3" the Earl asked him sweetly.

In that moment Allen thought he was touching the heaven with a finger, that a miracle was going to happen, that he suddenly was the luckiest boy in the whole world… He started to think that he could actually win that match.

Allen smiled devilishly, so devilishly that not only the Noahs started shuddering in fear, but even the exorcists felt a chill down to their spine.

" So, boy, what do you choose?" Tyki asked him nervously. Allen smirked:

" Our weapon will be… a deck. We'll challenge each other in a poker contest!"

Everyone stared at him blankly as if he was mad or something, but Cross had a broad grim painted over his face: his expression was now as mischievous as that of his disciple.

As soon as the Earl recovered from the surprise, a deck of cards was brought to the two along with a table and a pair of chairs. They sat, or at least Allen sat for the Count literally destroyed his chair with his weight, and the contest began.

" Call!" Allen exclaimed joyfully to an astonished Earl a few minutes after the beginning.

" _Shh, Earl,"_ Tyki Mikk whispered into his boss' ear_, " Are you sure that you can play poker?"_

" Of course I can, Tyki-pon!" the Millennium Count answered annoyed, " When I was young I was call the _king of cards,_ you knew?"

" _That you've been young once? No, I didn't know..." _Tyki replied astonished. The Earl was going to snap at the Noah, but his fury was interrupted by Allen's last statement:

" Royal straight flush!" the teen exclaimed, a mad, excited, light in his eyes, " Sorry, Millennium Count, but it seems that I've won."

Allen exhibited an evil grim as his companions came near to congratulate him, claiming him a hero.

Meanwhile the Noahs were staring at a shocked, paralyzed Earl who didn't even have the strength to speak.

" How was it? The _king of cards_?" Debit asked disgusted.

" Yes, he said so!" Jasdero confirmed.

All the Noah remained in silence, baffled, but Lulubell could swear to have heard Road whisper under her breath: _" oh, Allen, my hero!"._

Then the Earl threatened the Exorcists saying that he was going to return in a space of time of 7000 years and Leverrier, in order to make the Order ready for that moment, started a new project and created the Fourth exorcists, which, in a few words, consisted in a group of unscrupulous gamblers who were more compatible with a deck of cards than any exorcist had ever been with his Innocence.

And that's how DMG will really end. ^^

The end

**That's right, I know, it's a complete failure, but please, tell me that I managed to make you smile at least once!!****!**

**This is my very first attempt to write a parody and I'm not very good at making people laugh, but at least I tried…**

**I wrote this "thing" one night because I couldn't sleep and now I'm uploading this for basically no reason, but a mere impulse. I hope to have cheered you up a little!**

**REVIEW! ****Or I fear that I'll become depressed…**

**-Eris92-**


End file.
